When my husband Adam mentioned that a new cat would be a wonderful addition to our family we were completely in agreement that the first place to visit should be the neighborhood shelter. Like so many other people looking for a new pet, we were thinking we would adopt a very young animal... after all, what is more adorable than a new kitten?
That was the plan, but the cat that came home with us turned out to be nothing like we expected!
We introduced ourselves to lots of different cats and kittens while we worked our way through all the rooms of the facility. As we were visiting with the occupants of the last room, we encountered a cage with a warning sign on it: "Warning: This Cat Bites!" So why exactly did we end up adopting an overweight, ornery, three-year-old cat with a lot of baggage when we originally came for a lovable little kitten?
Because the plight of this cat was not his fault and it wasn't right to have him live out the rest of his life in a box.
"Rumson" was abused before he landed in this particular shelter, but he was clearly a cherished pet at some point in his past too because he hungered for human affection.
The nature of his behavior problem was very odd. He didn't get along well with other animals, but since he was going to be our only pet this was not a big deal for us. He seemed to love people and he was profoundly affectionate when he was close to someone, but then he could turn savage in an instant, giving wicked bites and scratches without warning.
The threat of Rumson going after another animal, one of his care givers or a potential visitor meant that the opportunities for him to leave his cage for exercise were very limited, which explained a great deal about his size. Without the chance to exercise he also had tons of pent-up energy which did not have a positive avenue for expression. All of that was working against him, but the bright yellow warning sign on his cage made it even less likely that he would get the chance to find a loving home of his own.
Here was a cat without a lot of prospects who was likely to live in a box for the rest of his life.
Adam and I chose to give Rumson a try, and I am delighted to announce that just a few months after adopting our fierce little feline, he is a tranquil, loving and purring member of our household.
So what helped Rumson settle down?
First, we had to identify the real sources of his problems.
As a part of our mutual learning curve, we discovered (the hard way) that Rumson had an issue with feet. He went absolutely ballistic on Adam when he attempted to scoot him away from a door with his foot, which led me to suspect that Rumson may have been kicked as a part of his abuse before we got him.
Knowing this, we were very mindful to always know where he was, and step slowly and deliberately around him so that he always felt safe around us.
Our next breakthrough on Rumson's behavior came to be known in our house as "Adam and Roslyn Bryan's theory on pet communication." It probably works equally well to both humans and animals alike, but this little bit of insight helped us understand Rumson better so he could really help him start his emotional healing and learn to feel safe as a part of our family.
Based on his behavior, we are pretty sure that a big thing that Rumson was fighting with is that he didn't feel "heard". In order for any relationship to flourish, there has to be good communication and a genuine understanding between the participants.
When Rumson had enough contact with us, he wouldn't even attempt to communicate his displeasure with the usual body language of kitties. There were none of the tell-tale signs like growling, flattened ears or twitching tail. When he had enough, Rumson would lash out and Adam or I were almost always caught completely off guard. This convinced me that our kitty might have been in a home with a child or someone completely unaware of cat body language who wouldn't take the hint.
As with people, when a cat tries to say something and gets consistently ignored, it is going to fall back on more and more extreme behavior to make its feelings clear. If you ignore a cat's "request" to be left alone too frequently, sooner or later he will stop asking politely and start taking a swipe or a bite to make sure you get the message. When too much time passes and the human side of the equation will not respond to the polite requests, the cat learns that this form of communication simply doesn't work. When that happens, he'll stop using the social forms of expression go straight to the fierce behavior.
It took a while for us to realize that Rumson did offer some clues of displeasure. Adam and I ultimately learned to watch his whiskers. He would pull them back towards his cheeks when he was about to attack. Once that happened we would instantly stop what we were doing and give him some "alone time."
Our attentiveness eventually retrained Rumson to understand that we wanted to be attentive to his needs, and that he could "use his words" and other means to convey his wishes instead of getting all fierce whenever something displeased him.
The last lesson that we had to realize in order to help Rumson become a happy cat was to find a good outlet for all of that extra feline energy that had been unexpressed for so long. We found a toy that he absolutely loves and Roslyn and I run him around until he is completely tired out at least a couple of times a day.
He's lost a lot of the extra weight that he had, and this was fantastic bonding time for all of us. Now he asks nicely by bring his toy over to us and meowing expectantly. THAT's a big step up in constructive kitty communication!
To sum it all up, a cat with "special needs" can be a wonderful addition to your family. You just need to make sure you find out what exactly those needs really are and then act on them. Our wonderful Rumson needed to understand that he was in a house where people loved him, were not going to hurt him, and listened so that he knew it was safe to go back to more gentle forms of communication.
Now that we are all on the same page and part of the same pride, everything is working out just fine.
I'm Roslyn Bryan, and Adam, Rumson and I would ask that you please think about adopting an older or special needs pet if you can, especially if you are in a house without young children. These beautiful creatures may need a bit more attention, but they have a lot of love to give!
